Make Yourself Useful

     "Jenkins!  What are you doing?" Mr. Rattford yelled as he entered the break room.

     Howard rolled his head back and spotted his boss stalking toward him.  He didn't even take his feet down from the table.

     "Watching Judge Judy," he said, returning his gaze to the television.

     "Dammit, Jenkins!  Don't give me any of your lip.  Get out there and make yourself useful!" he said, storming back onto the sales floor.

     "Whatever," Howard muttered, taking another sip of Mountain Dew.

     As he continued to watch television, he heard someone just outside the break room shouting.  "Does anyone have a mop!  I got a broken jar of honey on aisle seven!"

     Howard chuckled, knowing how hard it was clean up honey.  Deciding to get some chips from the vending machine, he pulled his feet down off the table but found they were stuck together.  At first he thought some joker had tied his shoelaces together, but as he looked down, he saw that his feet and legs were melting together.

     "What in the …" he started to say, but found his throat closing up as his arms were forced to his sides and his body locked straight as a board.  His lips fused closed and he was forced to stare at the ceiling as he felt his arms melt into his sides.  His whole body became thinner and thinner, except for his head which spouted shaggy brown hair.  The hair fell over his field of view and thickened like yarn as it turned white.  

     "Hey, Howard," Phillip called from the door, but Howard couldn't look toward him.  He heard him approaching though and soon saw the heavyset man standing over him.

     "Where did this mop come from?  It's brand new!" Phillip said, grabbing Howard and twirling him, making him dizzy.  Suddenly everything was upside down and Howard was being dragged out of the break room.

     He could hear Phillip whistling as he was dunked head first in to a bucket of chemical-smelling water.  Howard wanted to cough and sputter, but without a mouth he couldn't.  He then felt his head being set in a squeegee and crushed tightly.

     Phillip then used Howard to push the bucket toward the swinging doors of the main floor.

     "Honey spill, here I come!" Phillip said.